Category: Uncategorized

 

I am thankful for the invention of alcohol.

I am thankful for my parents who have worked so hard for the money that bought the alcohol.

I am thankful for my liver which filters all the toxins I drown it in.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on what is often taken for granted. Some people may be thankful for having a roof on their head while others are thankful for the new bugatti their parents just got them. I’m thankful for everything I’ve been given and for all the sacrifices my parents made so they could provide me with a better life. I was at home looking through old books and came across one that my uncle had written. It was about the paintings he’s sold and in the introduction contained his story on how he became an art history professor. He described how his parents never supported his passion to make art a career since their family was very poor at the time. There was a time when he had to give up teaching art after their eldest passed away to help support his famly. My dad came from that side of the family and it helped me reflect on all the family and friends he left to come to America with my mom. He’s always supported my dreams and it makes me realize how selfish I was as a kid when I always begged and complained about things I wanted or couldn’t have. My parents never want me to worry about spending money on food and rather I didn’t get a job so I could focus on academics fully. The gratitude towards my parents is something I can never fully express, but it reminds me to work harder in school and life so that in the end, I can give them everything they want.

Now, back to the shallow appreciations. This is the first Thanksgiving that I’ve been 21 at. My parents have always frowned upon drinking when under the legal limit…even at home…so now I can finally sip wine with the rest of the adults. Something about not having to raise a glass of sparkling cider signifies being grown up, even if I don’t feel remotely like an adult at all. Finally, I can partake in the drunken festivities with the rest of our family and friends.

 

In my head, that’s how I foresaw it would go.

Even though I was able to drink during the dinner, I basically still sat there and avoided conversation unless directly asked a question. I tried to partake in the consumption of red wine, but ended up having to add orange juice. I despise the bitter taste of wine, and orange juice usually helps cover it up. Well, drinking orange juice in my red wine made me feel less adult like, but at least it tasted good! I had to switch to beer at some point in the dinner because it definitely made the meal much more enjoyable. Also I’ve learned that being able to drink at dinner means you won’t be able to shove as much food down your throat. Three beers and a few glasses of wine in, I was mostly full from the amount of liquid in me. I felt disappointed at not being able to continually eat a second and third round, and much less desert. Pie was not even very enjoyable at this point since my stomach had stretched until my jeans were cutting into my flesh. I’m thankful for being able to drink at dinner, but now I think I’ll leave that mostly for weekends in college.

Best way to work up a Thanksgiving appetite? Fasting the day before.

That was exactly my mindset approaching the holiday dedicated to devouring copious amounts of unnaturally large turkeys, bred for the sole purpose of my consumption on this day. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday…well one of the only celebrations I actually partake in. As a first generation American, my immigrant parents came from a background that did not emphasize such events. Sure, I have memories of me opening christmas gifts as a toddler and hosting birthday parties at Planet Pizza; however, those traditions seemed to last only in my early years. Now, me and my sister joke around by mimicking videos of people excitedly running down to their christmas tree in the morning. Our snapchat stories featured a dramatic frenzy down to  a mostly undecorated tree devoid of any such gifts waiting to be unwrapped.

Don’t you go feeling sorry for me when I don’t feel sorry for myself. I already appreciate all the everyday things my parents provide for me and since I don’t actually celebrate the religious significance, it feels selfish to use a holiday to plead for a lavish gift.

I honestly don’t even remember the last time I’ve celebrated, or even been awake for, New Years.

I can’t say much about birthdays either. The only birthday I’ve actually been excited for is my recent 21st birthday, but only because it marked the beginning of legal alcohol purchase and consumption (it kind of takes away the youthfulness of sneaking around doing something illegal though).

At least I can enjoy all of my favorite foods during Thanksgiving dinner. We always have this cranberry sauce jello concoction that I look forward to the most. It sounds strange, but it goes well with everything, from the turkey to the mashed potatoes, I put that shit on EVERYTHING. Also, I love pumpkin pie. I hold a personal best record for devouring a whole pumpkin pie by myself for desert. Then there’s always the stuffing that is a hit or miss. I’ve learned over the year that boxed stuffing is always a guaranteed success. All you have to do is plate it well, add some decorative garnishes, and gloat about  how it is an old family secret. Plus having most of the time dedicated towards eating means more shoving food in my mouth and less  of having to make small talk with guests.

Oh yeah, fasting…it’s like telling yourself you’re going to start working out in the winter to get that spring break bod, but only to end up convincing yourself each day that staying in the warmth of your bed is a much better idea.

So of course returning home subjects me to being surrounded by an abundance of food: a juxtaposition to the empty void I call my fridge. One of my traditions upon arriving home is to scavenge through the pantry, fridge, and freezer for anything and everything. I’ll take a bite out of everything I can lay my hands on, and my parents take advantage of this time to tempt me with heaps of new foods to try. But it’s Thursday, and Thanksgiving dinner is in t minus 4 hours. No Elise. Don’t cave. Not today. Walk away from the kitchen and save more room for turkey. 

…But I’m weak….. and now my stomach is bloated.

So much for preparing for thanksgiving. 

Today is Sunday, so I’ve put away my customary green apple 4loko and traded in for a nice nitro milk stout I’ve been meaning to try. The dark chocolate coffee tones resemble a good afternoon Sunday coffee to accompany me during my studies. By beginning my studies, I mean its more like I took out all the notes and work I would need and spent an hour organizing it. Now its lunch time!

There’s one thing I’m constantly craving: tacos. Mores specifically this little Mexican restaurant Taqueria Los Altos that I visit at least once or twice a week. Once I find something I like, I can keep eating it for months until I get sick of it. I go through these weird phases of obsessively eating one type of food for months on end until I finally tire of it. Sophomore year my diet comprised of muesli for one semester and jello the next. Fall of Junior year, I would spend $30-40 on just yogurt. In the spring I would go through half a dozen eggs in 2-3 days. This semester, my obsession isn’t quite as tunnel visioned since the pastor tacos I’m in love with require driving, ordering, and tipping to obtain. However, if I had an infinite supply in my fridge, I can assure you that’s all I would eat for days.

Every time I visit Los Altos, I order the same thing: 2 pastor tacos and 1 shredded chicken taco. There’s one thing however that makes the tacos AMAZING. Grilled jalapeños! I always order at least one jalapeño for each taco so that my mouth and lips are swollen and numb after each bite. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, I like to put jalapeños on everything. Anything I make always can use some more jalapeños.When I ordered and asked for jalapeños, the waitress used one finger and asked “One?”. When I replied “No, three. One for each taco”, I noticed she raised her eyebrows while saying okay and smiling at the pad she was writing my order on. My friend, who was eating with me, laughed after she walked away and joked that they were probably laughing at me in the back about the asian girl who really likes jalapeños.

It’s actually funny because I didn’t realize until I was just typing this paragraph that I’ve been spelling jalapeños wrong this whole time as “jalepenos”. 

Dinner was not as appetizing as my fancy lunch. I made my typical HEB pre-seasoned chicken. It’s $4 for two chicken breasts! All you need to do is remove the plastic wrapping and stick it in the toaster oven for 18-20 minutes. I always eat one chicken breast and then save the other for my next meal. If you want a more balanced diet, aka colorful plate, it’s always cheap to buy a broccoli crown and add some as a side. Gotta admit, even though this is always my plan, I never actually make the broccoli. Usually it sits in my fridge until it goes bad and then I’ll buy more at my next HEB trip to make me feel healthier.

All in all, welcome to the most interesting parts of my typical Sunday. The only thing I’m sparing you from reading about is the majority of my day trying to finish all the work I saved for myself to do last minute.

Homesickness may be the culprit, but now I have a can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup (NOT low sodium of course), Chef Boyardee’s beef stuffed ravioli, and Progresso clam chowder in my pantry.

I recall the savory flavors of those meals as a kid…much more appetizing than the repetitive HEB chicken meals I’ve been eating for the past 3 months.

Old habits are hard to break. But it’s senior year and the amount of fucks I give have diminished by the years.

No one wants to fall prey to the freshman 15, and I was no exception. I came into college already with the intentions of eating healthy. That meant making sure my intake of sodium and sugar was kept to a minimum. I avoided eating carbs and anything else I deemed “unhealthy”. I would religiously check each nutritional label on packaged foods for the amount of calories, sodium, sugar, and fats it contained, shunning those desires to let my stomach do the talking. Of course there was no happy ending in my quest to avoid the freshman 15, and it wasn’t until the beginning of this year that I was able to shed that weight. Exercise was part of my daily regiment in the summer, but the return of school was accompanied by a disappearance of any motivation to work out. However, I was able to cave into all my temptations and seemed to be able to sleep off all the food I ate. Yes I still am the same weight, but we all know muscle weighs more than fat. I’m just in denial.

My fridge is pretty bare except for a tub of half eaten Sabra hummus (which apparently was recalled for listeria), bottle of double chocolate stout beer, and 2 dozen eggs I plan to shoot with a airsoft gun. You’d think this is because I don’t have enough time to make anything elaborate, but truth be told: I hate having to clean dishes. All those people who cook and put all their ingredients in cute separate containers don’t show all the dishes they have to do after breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’ve tried to cook, and each time the sink fills with dirty pans, dishes, cutting boards, utensils, etc…  Even simply pan frying the pre-seasoned fish I’ve defrosted is a chore. That’s one more pan I have to wash. So yes, instead I opted to break out the Chef Boyardee’s ravioli and give it a go.

Use the tab to pull off the can lid.

Pour it in a bowl.

Microwave it.

If you want to try being fancy, add whatever cheese in your fridge before heating it up. For me, this was mozzarella that’s been sitting in my fridge for quite some time. I sniffed it and it seemed fine. I have to say though, you really couldn’t taste those extra calories I used to garnish my ravioli.

Gotta say, it wasn’t as satisfying as the ravioli we used to be served every Friday in middle and high school. It was merely OKAY. Nevertheless, I won’t deny that I will likely buy it again in hopes that it will taste better than it did today (which we all know it won’t).

Who knows, maybe the clam chowder will exceed my expectations for lunch tomorrow.

I ask that you pretend the soup in the image is ravioli. I already ate the ravioli before I could take a picture of it and the soup in the picture was from a can as well!